Courage, or Something Like It

I've never considered myself to be particularly courageous. Spiders coax pathetic shrieks from my lips. My hands shake and butterflies fly when I am thrust into the unknown. I even still run blindly from phantom fears in my dark garage. Traveling is without a doubt the most daunting task of them all. I find myself holding my breath walking down unknown streets, waiting for an attack that will (hopefully) never come. I spend hours in my room sometimes, nursing an irrational fear of being all alone in the abyss. I am not exactly one to inspire confidence.

As I was preparing to embark on this trip I started to hear something that shocked me; people think I am brave. At first each time it was mentioned it brought a secret smile to lips; me, brave? I outwardly thanked my beautiful support system while my stomach tied itself into a deeper knot. My trip was coming up fast and I was a mess. I was terrified, wracked with worry about my future, and unsure of what changes would come in my perception of the world. I realized that wearing a brave face can convince others around you that you believe unequivocally that what you are doing is right; and so a brave face I wore.

“Can a man still be brave if he’s afraid?”
“That is the only time a man can be brave”

AGOT, Martin

For me, traveling is not about bravery. It's about living the life that I know I have always wanted. It is about not accepting the social norms that have been laid out for generations. It is about doing what I truthfully want, despite the heart shattering consequences. It's about admitting that the most important person in my life is me, no matter how terribly selfish that may be. Traveling is the only way I can picture living my life. 

So yes, I fear the unknown. And no, this life I have chosen is not always easy. I've accepted that I do not let my nerves govern my choices. Rather, I throw caution and comfort to the wind in exchange for the rush of life. And guess what? You can do it too. It does not take bravery, it takes conviction that we are only put on this planet for a short amount of time and, therefore, have to do the things we desire. 

Don’t let your fears define you. Take your fears, bottle them up, and hide them deep within you. Forget about them and follow your dreams. I guarantee the next time you peek into that bottle you will be pleasantly surprised to find those fears have been replaced with the most beautiful memories and experiences. Life is too short to hide from. 

Perhaps admitting the truth about what we need from life is all bravery is, after all.

Welcome to Istanbul

Istanbul pulses with life as a city that seems to never sleep. The hearts of fourteen million people beat as one as they weave among each other day in and day out. Streams of faces float past a countless number of restaurants, shops, cafes, and bars. The streets morph into a living organism that moves effortlessly despite the traffic. Walking becomes an inherent dance as you glide through throngs so thick it seems that collision is imminent, yet somehow you make it through untouched. I've never been to a place so alive.

Silence does not exist here. Between cats howling, cars honking, and characters harassing there is no peace. Snippets of music from nightclubs clash with the mournful sound of the call to prayer. The language itself is ferociously barked across streets belying the harmless personality of those who call Istanbul home. Somehow the cacophony becomes soothing as the constant drone vibrates through your body drawing you into the life of the city. 

The sights are so stimulating they make me dizzy. I tear my eyes from a shop full of vibrantly dazzling lanterns only to stare into barrels of exotic spices. Turkish towels, pillow cases, and slippers beg to be taken home as the smallest reminder of this great metropolis. More eye catching than anything are the ancient buildings that dot the cityscape. Mosques loom with their awe inspiring presence that draws the eye and the mind to the days of Constantinople and Byzantium. Random archways and towers from the past somehow blend in with neon store fronts with perfect synchronicity. It's enough to make your head spin. 

It's futile to talk about Istanbul without mentioning the food. I fervently drift towards spindles of sizzling meat as they rotate lazily wafting mouth watering aromas onto the street. Mounds of exquisite Turkish delight sit proudly in their window sills only to be forgotten as soon as the quintessential baklava comes into sight. Fresh squeezed pomegranate juice costs next to nothing and mixed with the fresh orange juice it is an explosion of heavenly flavor. I could easily spend all day eating here and still not experience it all.  

The sights, sounds, and smells of Istanbul are overwhelmingly wonderful. With less than a week under my belt I cannot wait to see what else this urban paradise has to offer. 

This thriving city has already stolen my heart and my soul.

Postcards from Around the World

I want to try something new on this wild, slightly irresponsible adventure I have embarked on; let me write to you.

I can write you a poem (no promises on the quality, I’m no Poe), draw you a picture (again, tread lightly here), or simply update you on the incredible things that I have been fortunate enough to experience. Hand written correspondence will triumph once again!

I’ve always been a huge fan of postcards. There is something thrilling about capturing a city in a 4x6 snapshot. I’ve send sparkly surprises of dogs wearing hats from France, kittys lounging in the sun from Greece, and pots of Kimchi from South Korea. While I am unable to bottle the sights, sounds, and smells of any given city, I can at least provide a glimpse into this beautiful and weird world of ours. 

If you would like a postcard at any time during my 4 month jaunt around Europe, please just send an email to kerrynferneyhough@gmail.com with your address. I will do my best to include a corny joke with my well wishes and any other requests you may have. Cheers!

x