Life or Love?

This one is for all the skeptics out there. 

I have been met with some criticism for wanting to explore the world while my husband-to-be pursues his Masters degree here in Reno. The array of opinions ranges from envy to incredible support to being told "well then you just shouldn't be getting married." It has made me realize that everyone has a different opinion of what love, and ultimately marriage, should be. 

What is love to you? 
For some it is butterflies and giggles. That head over heels, heart pounding love that comes during the first stage of a relationship. For others, it is all about family; a tired toddler and a shared bank account.
For most, however, it is not about growing as an individual or pursuing your personal life goals. This is our number one mistake in the game of love. Since when did relationships require the death of your dreams?

All too often relationships kill individuality as two separates become a whole. While this is not always a bad thing, it can lead to stagnancy and ultimately undermine the relationship. If you and you partner constantly sacrifice doing the things you love, how can you expect to be happy with each other? A partner should be supportive of your plans rather than demanding forced time together. 

"The problem with allowing your identity to be consumed by a romantic relationship is that as you change to be closer to the person you love, you cease to be the person they fell in love with in the first place." - Mark Manson (http://markmanson.net/6-healthy-habits)

Spending every moment of free time together starts to become an obligation, rather than a choice. When we want to pursue our own goals (separate from those in our relationship) we are dubbed as being selfish. Phrases like "you can't do that" and "how can you leave your husband behind" crop up making us feel guilty about exploring the possibilities presented to us. There is nothing shameful about following your heart, even if it takes you away from the one you love the most. Where is it written that travelers don't deserve to be married?

Vagabonds need love too.

Love should not be about throwing away your life, it should be about making your life move in perfect synchronicity with the person who understands you better than anyone else. I am extremely fortunate to have found someone who not only understands me, but also fully supports me. He knows that I am not abandoning him for my dreams, but he also knows that I am not willing to abandon my dreams for him (or anyone else). He loves me for the person I am, not the person he wants me to be. Personally, this is the only way I can imagine my marriage working. 

So to all the skeptics out there: I hear you, I understand where you are coming from, and I value your opinions. However, this is my life and my life only. We only have one life and some of us are not willing to waste it living by the restraints of someone else's ideals. 

If you had to choose between life and love, what would you choose? 
Me? I choose both.