Courage, or Something Like It

I've never considered myself to be particularly courageous. Spiders coax pathetic shrieks from my lips. My hands shake and butterflies fly when I am thrust into the unknown. I even still run blindly from phantom fears in my dark garage. Traveling is without a doubt the most daunting task of them all. I find myself holding my breath walking down unknown streets, waiting for an attack that will (hopefully) never come. I spend hours in my room sometimes, nursing an irrational fear of being all alone in the abyss. I am not exactly one to inspire confidence.

As I was preparing to embark on this trip I started to hear something that shocked me; people think I am brave. At first each time it was mentioned it brought a secret smile to lips; me, brave? I outwardly thanked my beautiful support system while my stomach tied itself into a deeper knot. My trip was coming up fast and I was a mess. I was terrified, wracked with worry about my future, and unsure of what changes would come in my perception of the world. I realized that wearing a brave face can convince others around you that you believe unequivocally that what you are doing is right; and so a brave face I wore.

“Can a man still be brave if he’s afraid?”
“That is the only time a man can be brave”

AGOT, Martin

For me, traveling is not about bravery. It's about living the life that I know I have always wanted. It is about not accepting the social norms that have been laid out for generations. It is about doing what I truthfully want, despite the heart shattering consequences. It's about admitting that the most important person in my life is me, no matter how terribly selfish that may be. Traveling is the only way I can picture living my life. 

So yes, I fear the unknown. And no, this life I have chosen is not always easy. I've accepted that I do not let my nerves govern my choices. Rather, I throw caution and comfort to the wind in exchange for the rush of life. And guess what? You can do it too. It does not take bravery, it takes conviction that we are only put on this planet for a short amount of time and, therefore, have to do the things we desire. 

Don’t let your fears define you. Take your fears, bottle them up, and hide them deep within you. Forget about them and follow your dreams. I guarantee the next time you peek into that bottle you will be pleasantly surprised to find those fears have been replaced with the most beautiful memories and experiences. Life is too short to hide from. 

Perhaps admitting the truth about what we need from life is all bravery is, after all.