More than once during this jaunt I have found myself in a coffee shop, sipping hot goodness, as the rain pours down outside. These are some of the thoughts that have come to me during these times. As I prepare to leave Europe to chase my dreams to Australia, I thought that I would share them.
1) I really, truly, beyond a doubt love my life. Each day brings about an ecstasy I have never known before. My mind and soul are being overloaded with images of unimaginable beauty combined with the chance to meet like-minded and wonderful individuals. I am struck with such intense emotions on a daily basis that I no longer know the difference between anxiety, hope, and fear. Each new experience brings more to my character and helps me grow into the person I have always wanted to be. Life, what a wild ride it can be.
2) I miss my family and friends more than I have been able to admit to myself. This is a particularly hard one for me because the path I have chosen requires sacrifices of all sorts, separation from loved ones being the biggest. For all of the missed birthdays, weddings, holidays, and cups of tea I am missing, I am sorry. If I could put you all in my pocket as I chase my dreams around the world I wouldn’t hesitate. I love you humans and miss you every single day.
3) It is okay to be vulnerable. And sad. And lonely. With the highest highs come some of the lowest lows. I have had to learn how to balance my emotions as this roller coaster of feelings takes ahold of my life. While social networking usually shows the best moments of our lives, we don’t generally let people see the dark. We create a world of false perfection by only showing our proudest moments. There have been tears, and fights, and days spent hiding from the world, and I have learned that is okay. I am human, after all.
4) Traveling changes me a little more each time. It happened during my first trip around Europe, and again in Honduras, South Korea and now I am changing again. Each adventure around the world brings more insight than I bargained for. When you are alone on a bus, train, plane, ferry, whatever it may be, you are left with nothing but yourself for company. In these moments I have been able to take a look at my character and realize the things that need to change. And the things that don’t. I am working on being proud of who I am and these trips are notoriously good for self reflection and growth.
5) Everything is going to be more than okay in the end. Somehow through all of the chaos of life, things just seem to come together as if woven into a tapestry. I have made some life altering mistakes, but coming to Europe was not one of them. In fact, it might be the best thing that could have happened to me. Following my instinct and not giving into the pressures of life has put me on a course that I finally feel is right for me and me alone. I have never been more certain of my love for life’s uncertainties before. Do something you love and do it well.
I have also discovered my love for goulash, mulled wine, random wanderings through cobblestone streets, and the chance to be a new person with each fresh start. Farewell Europe, thanks for all of the love, laughter, and evolvement. Until next time.
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